I am a movie buff. I will enjoy the Cinematic experience till end of my life on this earth. Of course I chose the movie I see and I am able to spot the good ones thru combination of reviews and my gut feels.
My wife is just opposite. She does not like movies and hates to be in the lounges of Cinema theaters. Gradually she is getting converted. She partners with me and gradually loves what I love. Same is with me. I hate too much time in shopping and window shopping which she likes most. But gradually I am a convert. Still I hate the expense, though I love her happiness….and expense does not matter any more….within my means of course.
Currently, she enquires whether I have any movie on my mind and I enquire any shopping she is contemplating.
We had an arranged marraige and we had our share of misunderstandings from the beginning. We are contrasts and we have learnt to cope with that. The zing is in the contrast. Though we argue and have our strong mindsets, we strangely support each others’ likes and understand the dislikes. We agree to disagree.
Our partnership has withered many a storms in our lives…some contributed by me, some by her and some by my son….but largely by twists and turns of events dragging us into dispair many a times.
What finally could sail us thru was our synergy, partnership, fighting together and ofcouese His, the Lord Almighty’s helping hand.
The journey is on..still on…our tests are still on.
I am not speaking anything new. I believe every couple will vouch for similar experience. We are no different.
But this is not experinced by individualistic, egocentric arrogants who can never partner with any one.
This simple truth was so beautifully described in the Movie Shamitabh. Two talented individuals were handicapped otherwise with contrasting weaknesses. When they come together, the magic happens…world comes to their feet. The success breeds the jealousy between them and they separate. They pursue individual endevours and flop.
By the time they realise their mistake the world has fallen apart for them, and one partner is lost for ever leaving the other with eternal guilt.
I simply loved the movie and enjoyed its music as well…the Piddly number sung by Amitabh Bachhan.
But, most importantly it reminded my partnership journey and I am ever grateful to her for what she has done for me and us in the family.
Wihing you all lovely partnership experiences.
Dear Folks! I would sincerely like to draw your attention to this topic of judging people or situation on drop of a hat. We find that , continiously, we are engaged in evaluaions. We are evaluating situations, persons, actions, contexts and what not. It seems that our mind is working overtime in being judgemental. When we encounter a negative situation, we quickly jump to a conclusion about what led to that situation or whois to be blamed. Why do we do so? I think it is years of die hard habit…a habit born out of our need to analyse a negative outcome and need to take protective measures. We, more often than not, conclude that the blame lies outside us. It is somebody else, not me. Hence, correction lies outside me, and protection lies in my actions. We, consequently take wrong actions like ostracising, disassociating, hating, blaming, taking revenge, getting angry or simply ignoring….but not understanding, not loving. Our ego and selfishness forces us into this kind of habit. We are kind of blind. We are blinded by our prejudice, our superficiality, our selfish-love. We are clouded by our intolerance, our strong likes and dislikes created out of influnence, poor undestanding and seer lack of sensibilities.b The need is to take a step back. Critically look at the situation like an analyst. Step oyutside the system as if you are not part of it. Look for facts and figures. Observe intently. Many a time unspoken, non-verbal communications are very strong communications. Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are evaluating. Feel from others’ perspective. Develop that sensisibility which questions your prejudice , your orientation, your fears, your propensities and then looks for missing angle. Develop empathy and nothing sort of that. Suddenly, you will find that you live in a different world, a world of Love and Beauty. You will understand that living has another meaning. The meaning will outgrow the self-related orientation and evolve into inclusive orientation. You will find that the external entities are nothing but you in different situations and different understandings. You will enjoy your understanding of them and your actions will emanate from your deep empathetic analysis rather than impulsive fragile emotions born out of prejudice and self-centered inclinations. By judging others we lower our nature and by loving we elevate it. I dont mean blind love when I utter Love. The Love is in accepting the divine manifestations and merging into it. Make your Love so powerful that you can never err in understanding…it becomes intuitive, almost instantaneous without any need for any elaborate analysis. Something like a supercomputer. The potetial, the knowledege is already embedded in you. The need is to discover again or uncover it from closed judgementality. It needs intense practice to break free from old habit and a tranquil mind developed through meditative approach to life. These are not repititions from some scripture study. I am not a saint. I have gone through my trials and tribulations. But, whatever little nectar I gathered in this life-expereince, I am sharing. Accept it if you find meaning in it or else discard it out-right. But trying is never harmful. Wishing you a beautiful journey from crass Judge-mentality to refined sensibility.
Why am I born as human being in this earth to my parents and into the environment of social, cultural and economic conditions at the time of my birth?
Was it by a chance occurrence or is there a definite process/ design behind this event/series of events that happened to me or going to happen to me in future?
I am not any saint or mahatma to know this answer. But I have my own understanding and reasoning. Could be stupid to some. Yet I want to share it with you.
My belief is that we create our world. We attract situations, events and happenings to us for the experience that we need so that we can grow from the state that we are into a higher state. The path could be a roller coaster or smooth depending on how we respond.
Basically the experience of life is the essence of living…being born. This body is nothing but an instrument,,I would call a marvelous divine equipment which provides us a means to understand various hues of life.
We are tossed in this river of life, now joyous and next depressed…now happy and next sad. We experience this through the body instrument and the environment we live in. The mind-body combination is like a vehicle with antenna and processor for us store various experiences that we go through and then chose what we would like to associate with.
We re-discover ourselves. We understand what pains us and what gives us joy. We start with our selfish self and see life from the perspective of what I got from it in terms of pleasure and comfort. We deal with our aspirations, frustrations, jealousies, fear, guilt, achievements, joys, happiness, sadness, depression. We start exploring the concept called God or we totally negate this concept. All depends how we respond to life.
As we go through ups and downs, we gradually but surely start understanding the meaninglessness of our selfish pursuit, the short lived pleasures we hanker, the egos the we build as we accumulate so called wealth,knowledge,name and fame.We start getting the feel of impermanent aspects of life. As time starts devouring us, as we start feeling the reality of expiry of this body we start looking for what is worth living for. We start understanding how experiences like service, empathy, fellow-feeling, giving, contributing, loving without condition, connecting, ego-shedding, rising above pain and pleasure, letting go, getting detached, enabling a tranquil mind, and pursuing spiritual path gives more stability, meaning and sense of living rather than aggrandizing, accumulating, pleasure-seeking, ego-building, getting obsessively attached to materialism and sensual pleasures which brings associated pains, depressions and loss of living.
You are living now, what is the guarantee you are living in next moment.
The present is very important and in this present how much humbleness and love you feel in heart is important.
Ultimately you carry emotions and experience with you from life to life, rest you pick from material and give back to material.
Hence, why are you so calculative, future-centrist, self-centered, pleasure-indulgent being getting heavily tossed around? Why not you seek stability & joy through tranquility of mind and emotions of self-less love.
You are here to understand the difference of these two opposite states.
very spiritual…..i liked
We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that something deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
— E. E. Cummings
The True Self is not our creation, but God’s. It is the self we are in our depths. It is our capacity for divinity and transcendence.
— Sue Monk Kidd
Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.
— Thomas Merton from A Search for Solitude
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A fantastic piece of writing. I agree. I have felt the most that is written here.
1. You are the work. The work is you: both an articulation of the self and a possibility for self-reflection. Be honest in creation: allow yourself to bleed into the work, but also allow it to work on you. Your work can show you things: illuminate and clarify your own thoughts, motivations, actions. If you do it right, you will find the work changing you, too.
2. Thinking is process. Laying on the floor. Sitting on park benches. Getting lost on purpose. These are all working. Learn the difference between mindless distraction and mindful wandering.
3. Go down the rabbit hole. Sometimes the work isn’t about what you think it is. Allow yourself to get lost down alleyways, to follow a train of thought around a corner. Don’t feel you need to reign yourself in. Too much focus squeezes all the possibility for revelation out of the work.
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I am re-blogging this to emphasize a point that we need to look at life more from how we live every moment rather than what will happen in future or what happened in the past.
I’ve written before about my aversion to some social media. Besides the conspicuous consumption of time, Facebook is how I found out that my best friend from 5th grade had lost the use of both her legs and arms in a car accident. Which led me to a search where I found out that another classmate and her brother were both dead in their early 40s. It was jarring and traumatic. These faces, frozen in my mind’s eye, were young and healthy and living happy lives in some far off world. Anything beyond that failed to reach my imagination.
When I was in my teens, we moved to a house, town and school far away from where I’d grown up. It was, in reality, only about 40 miles away, but rural miles. No public transportation or extra family car or cell phone plans to keep in touch with old…
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I am publishing a nice description of a trip by my dept. colleagues.This piece was written by the youngest of the lot..fresh from Engineering college. I published it for you to feel the emotion of a youngster from my team whom I selected to join me only 6 months back. He told me that his hobby is creative writing and I liked his style.
Whole Idea is to create such moments in life, not only with family and friends, but also with colleagues.
Enjoy the reading.
A break from the hustle-bustle of daily life, a time where we as coworkers could spend time together, bonding and learning more about each other, with these agendas in mind the MIS team had a Get-Together at Camp Temgarh for a night to remember and make a sweet memory for all of us to cherish.
Located 30 Kms away from Pune, Camp Temgarh is located near the quaint village Mulshi on the Lavasa Road. The landscape around the intimate resort is beautiful, surrounded by hills and a lively stream that is close by.
Between luxurious tents in a wonderful amenity, a small ground for playing outdoor games like cricket, football, basketball and a pool table, table tennis for indoor games the facilities are wonderful, the scope for enjoyment is plentiful. The bonfire at night with excellent barbecue is the right stage for a night to remember.
The energetic and excited MIS Team started from Bajaj Auto at 8:45 AM on a chilly winter morning, as the mist settled down and the sun graced with a warm smile. Picking up members on the way, most of the team headed to the destination on a Tempo Traveler, a few trailing along on personal vehicles.
The long and winding road trip was a treat by itself, buzzed with the hooting by Ashutosh and the Irshad by Abhay. The team as a whole stumbled around to the destination by 11 AM, swelling with anticipation.
After a short welcome, the team collected together at the Gazebo and after much discussion on a soft drink, the plan was announced and tents were allotted on a lottery.
The green field served as the battleground when the group split into two teams for a cricket match under the blazing afternoon sun. The five over match was tense, the team headed by Sarat scoring big with beautiful strokes from Nilesh that never landed inside the boundary, and Sharad proving that his age is not much of a hindrance for taking quick runs. Sachin found himself diving into the dirt while taking a run, unfortunately a long distance away from the crease. But his efforts were well appreciated.
The team headed by Sarat replied strongly, with equal and good contributions by Milind, Mr. Jorapur and Mr. Rathore. The team clinched their victory in no time.
The highlight of the match, of course, was the group collectively working together when the ball fell among the brambles, turning the cricket game into an unexpected scavenger hunt.
Right after lunch, it was time for some relaxing indoor games. Ranjit and Lalit showed their expertise at the pool, rolling the balls perfectly into the holes.
Headed by none other than a well-trained Alsatian, the group marched towards the river, the muddy bank proving to be a challenge to get into. Instead, a daring decision was made to climb up a steep slope and explore the unknown. The climb proved to be a challenge, muddy shoes slipped on the ground and the only supports were the vines, trees with thorn-filled trunks. The tough hike proved to be fruitful, as what awaited was a rocky river bank, perfect for getting in and have an exciting swim in the chilly water.
After the swim, the cool evening felt the right time for another cricket match, this time Ranjit showed magic with his bowling causing Mr. Rathore to fondly nickname him, Muraleedharan.
The night finally settled in, glittering stars decorated the night sky with their shine, a sight rare for the city-dwellers who mostly lived in flats. Bottles of drinks were opened and with a loud cheer, the night to remember had officially begun. Huddled around the campfire, with a strong music in the backdrop, the group enjoyed their drinks. A relay drinking match, dancing to the music and a hilarious game of Damsharas, all these events contributed to a wonderful night—a night that was definitely worth remembering.
As the clock struck past twelve, the MIS team celebrated the birthday of Mr. Milind Kasture and continued late into the night, collectively singing beautiful Bollywood songs.
Needless to say, it was an unforgettable night. Bonding with coworkers in a completely different environment was an experience, a relaxation from the hustle-bustle of daily life and a rest from the rush for completing projects and meeting deadlines. The effect this bonding exercise would have on a professional level would be profound too.
I liked this blog because it is true
People often toss around the idea that the internet is “not real life,” as though this thing — made by people to allow those people to share and interact with other people — is just the playtime before more serious business. The real business.
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I have enjoyed the life the way I lived.
I don’t judge it.
So what, If I had my share of lows. These are the points I look back to understand where I made mistakes.
I had two brothers ho were junior to me by 1 year intervals in series. I was an introvert and sort of nice to elders. But I might have been too much inward looking by nature which was looking like selfish or self indulgent to others. The sibling-jealousies took the better of me. I had feelings of being loved and being ignored in the same breath. The perceptions were purely mine. I also have a brother who is 10 years junior to me. I was very protective about him. Hence at very early stage I learnt to be responsible towards family. My siblings are just simply adorable angels and my parents are nothing sort of divine persona to me. I love them immensely. Yet I was angry at them, I misunderstood them. The point is that these were the process of learning. I see the divine hand in the process. Paradoxically the low-points are high-points of learning.
I turned academic in my engineering graduation. Always academically in toppers’ list. I had my share of few close friends with ups and downs of immature understanding of friendship. I was little timid in my thought process , always concerned about the risks. Hence the friendship got strained at times due to this. As I grew I understood the side effects of being too concerned. Learned to be joyful in whatever situation I was in. Started enjoying being bonhomie. I fondly remember my graduation days. I love all the friends from past, though I created a lots of misunderstandings among many. But that was me…the special me….I am OK with that. The learning is amazing….Had i not erred, how would I have understood what is right?
By this time I had my share of spiritual encounters. My family is very spiritual in form of rites and rituals. I got into habit of praying as it was mandated as daily rituals. I love those moments. The connect it established with Him at those tender stage. I, strangely had a spiritual eye, I believe. I was connecting my prayer to so called lucks and coincidences. I had a feeling of being destiny’s child. The belief was firming of strongly and surely. The miracles were manifesting to sense His presence. This happened very early in life…when I was in teens and stepping into youth…
Yet the intoxication of youth also affected me. The arrogance, the overconfidence took front seat.My spiritual experiences started becoming like punctuation, to be encountered only when I am in trouble. Hence, His care was confirmed. But I was blind to my weakness. The swaying was highest in this period.
My best time were when I became a Management Trainee in a Public Sector, an aerospace manufacturing company. Got chances to study at IIT, Chennai and topped M Tech in Aerospace Production. It was the time I was in my most carefree and free-spirit state. Socializing, and befriending were at its peak. I fondly remember the last day of Management Trainee-ship and we were crying unabashedly in public to part our ways. Somewhere He showed me the divine hand in community living. The feeling of care you share outside your family…the greater family….universal one.
Then I got immersed into Job. The achievements had created an arrogance in mind. Got intoxicated to work-life and job performance. Material rewards were not any kind to talk about. My mind did not dwell in that. I was content.
I was kind of a blind person. Not aware of what marriage can do to you. Got married and all hell broke loose. I a complete unromantic, unworldly got into married life. I had seen the worst part of my emotions when I could not handle contradictions. Confused between love and right. From being carefree to no-free. The teething issues manifested. But my loving side took over. Tussle between ego and love began their endless drama in my life. I am an ordinary human and suddenly had to cope with unfamiliar tensions. But I loved the care, the possessiveness and yet hated to be tied. As life-boat sailed further I could understand the mature side of our lives. I am very lucky to have a life-partner who complements me. I am unorganized, and she is opposite. I lack worldly commonsense and she constantly fills the gap. She is completely undemanding and adjusting in material needs of life. However her devotion to make me look better, feel better and stay better at times tip over to a bit excessive. Her assertiveness is way higher than mine. We are contradictions of sort . Yet that spiced my life. I am undefined without her. I learnt the reason for presence of Yang & Ying in the universe. The divine intent is so visible. The partnership is way higher than individualism. It takes two to tango. I am incomplete without her.
I had a son in my first of year of marriage. I always wanted a son and a daughter. The public sector salary was too low and future was looking daunting to give good life to two kids without good reserve of money for them. Hence we stopped at having one kid. I regretted this decision for long…but reconciled somewhere in the life journey. I hated the lack of adequate money in my childhood. My father was an honest govt servant who could fulfill what basic requirements were required. I thought that being six member family was a strain on the expenses. But my parents never thought that way. They could not only raised us well as per their believe, but also accommodated relatives whoever needed their support. I could have imbibed this philosophy of my parents. It is so embracing and accepting type. My materialistic need got better of me. I became calculative. We stayed single-kid family, though we feel we could have been wiser. However we don’t regret. We rest our case under SAI BABA’s lotus feet, every time and all the time. by this time I was ardent believer of Shirdi SAI and my wife joined me. She also saw the miracles that He created for us at our trying times. This Leela is never ending and continues.
I love this process of life which constantly reminds me of Him.
I left the secured Public sector job in mid-life and switched to commercial corporate after I completed my executive MBA from XIM, Bhubaneswar. I topped my MBA post graduation while being in job. My wife was a huge inspiration at that trying stage. Somewhere I was bored with inefficiencies of Public sector and looking for work situation which can recognize meritrocity and move away from mediocrity. He listened to my wishes and fulfilled it. I did not know that there was a learning process in store for me.
We had our share of ups and downs in raising our only son. Frankly we, both of us, as parents were ill-equipped to handle a brilliant kid who is hyper and constantly distracted. This is an experience, as if Lord had scripted for us. Now I know that our learning is in committing mistakes and seeing the difference when we rectify them. Our traditional values and conservative middle class mentality could not handle the gay-abandons of a free spirit who is non-conformist. A complete opposite of how we have seen and lived life wearing our colored glasses. There was a time we were having a feeling of falling into an abyss and falling endlessly.
Then saw the unseen. We changed the glass. We made our son to face tough world alone and yet be supportive. We designed the situation. It created its own issues. We were misunderstood by our only son. We learnt to be patient and tolerant. We buried our frustrations and replaced it with love and care. It was like both parties are trying accommodate each other. We were told that we are spoiling our only child by giving him whatever he demands. We had to play a balancing act. Handle him and yet not spoil him. Now he is matured, loving, and a tough man. He fondly remembers the past and understands us perfectly.
What a Teacher He is!!
I have similar experience of Ups and Downs in my career. I , now know the pros and cons of secured public job and unsecured private job. I have no regrets. I have thoroughly enjoyed both workplaces. I adored both. But always felt to rectify the stuff that ails both the sides. I am immensely grateful to both the employments for what I am and what I have learnt.
In short when I look-back I find that my downs were due to me and only me and I attracted those situations for me to learn and grow.
Life continues….Learning continues….Loving continues…No matter what happens….contentment is our birthright….grab it…..embrace and melt into humankind…nope…humanness….stop calculating the future….start savoring the present…
Live a life of abundance, no matter what you have or not…The Lord has got abundance in store for you…