The Truth about Reactive Attachment Disorder

Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane Blog

I witnessed a conversation with the sister of a boy who had been adopted at the age of 2 years old after being abused by his biological parents. As an adult “he has always been in trouble with the law and has been in jail.” Upon hearing this, a deep sorrow enveloped me. I have such empathy for that child, having three of my own adopted at a later age. It was with a sweet naiveté that I had them join our family, believing that love can cure all. Despite our family’s best efforts, love did NOT cure all. To pretend that it did does a disservice to all of those families living with similar children. As brightly as I may portray our family, (and they ARE wonderful children whom I have never regretted adopting,) they have serious disabilities when it comes to social norms. They have reactive attachment disorder.

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Potential

New Heaven on Earth!

slide_22393_464918_free Our highest potential does not come from this world. Our highest potential comes from the Creator of heaven and earth. When we can begin to see from the eyes of the Living One–Love Without Opposite– we can begin to see rightly. When looking through the Eyes of Love, we see only the highest potential in all creation.

When we intimately know the Creator of heaven and earth is inside us and they have their home within our body, we are free to include everything in life into our experience. We can be free to include, enjoy the beauty of all things, rejoice with the joyful, cry with the hurting, and best of all: do no harm to others, nature and yourself. With eager expectation and great optimism, you hope for the best, see the best, and watch as the best is revealed, even in the seemingly darkest situations.

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Our Creator…

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Make your own rules…Universal Rules…Be A Free Spirit

You, the embodiment of Soul!
You are a free spirit, spirit of Love and Joy.
You are straight from His abode, Heaven.
Then why are you sad? Why are you chained? Why do you have to go against your free will? Why are you stuck?
I saw a Bollywood hindi movie today called “queen”
I liked this movie, because it captured the Essenes of what I am blogging here. I will leave some still pictures of the movie that captures the joy of free spirit.
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Always view yourself as a free spirit.
Almighty has created you. He has sent you to this beautiful earth in order to rediscover yourself, to find Him thru his creations.
Yet you are caught in the web. Your spirit is no more free.
You have to work for livelihood and you hate your job.
You are in to relationships and community which make you to confirm to what the relationship demands from you, what the community demands from you.
You have defined yourself as dependant. Dependant on a job, on a relationship on a community.
So long as you are chained, how can you do justice to yourself and also to the demands made on you by others? You will be sub-optimal.
You will go thru the motion, without heart. You will be a confirmist. You will be labelled obedient, good, hard working and all superlatives. But no one will care for your feelings, your joys. You bury them for the sake of undeserving others. You offer your life to them. You are no more you. You are their instruments. Your achievements will not have that spark, that spark of excellence which He wants to express thru you. You can not rediscover yourself until you free yourself.
Unshackle yourself.
Recognise your dream. Pursue it fearlessly. He is there for you. Just have faith in yourself and Him. You are not alone. You are loved. Don’t hanker after pseudo love, recognition, remuneration etc. please see thru these external actions and understand the hypocrisy.
Weed out non-genuine from genuine.
Until you you are fiercely independent, you cannot justify yourself to you, your dreams, your passions, your talents.
Toughen your mind. Hence, first step is to not mind. Release others , and release yourself. Do not let your ego come your way to express yourself, express your dreams. Be unabashed about it.
Just lower your ego to rise yourself above.
Break free. F*** the norms that oppress you.
Form your rules. Rules of universe.
Love yourself. Don’t harm or hate others due to dogmas. See Him in every manifestations. Enjoy your efforts. Embrace and contribute. Love as if no restriction exists. Dance as if no one is seeing, sing as if no one is hearing, attempt as if no one is needed to approve you.
Be free and be creative. And don’t lose heart when you are hated, not loved, not recognised, not appreciated. Don’t depend on others for that. Bless them when they do this to you. They are yet to learn. They are also travellers , but shackled to dogmas, to egos, to darkness.
You are not seeking them.
You are seeking Him. Accept all situations, and transform it to beauty, joy, art, feelings, love, comrediery, brotherhood, team work, and expression of humanity.
Peruse your dream as if no restriction exists for you.
Yes, please see and recognise the same free spirit in others. Don’t do to others what you don’t want for you. Understand their dreams. Help them pursue their dreams.
Bring heaven here.
Be an angel. Discard all other designations. Stay a free spirit, because you are.
These are your rules.
Love
Divinitive

Make your own rules…Universal Rules…Be A Free Spirit

You, the embodiment of Soul!
You are a free spirit, spirit of Love and Joy.
You are straight from His abode, Heaven.
Then why are you sad? Why are you chained? Why do you have to go against your free will? Why are you stuck?
I saw a Bollywood hindi movie today called “queen”
I liked this movie, because it captured the Essenes of what I am blogging here. I will leave some still pictures of the movie that captures the joy of free spirit.
image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image
Always view yourself as a free spirit.
Almighty has created you. He has sent you to this beautiful earth in order to rediscover yourself, to find Him thru his creations.
Yet you are caught in the web. Your spirit is no more free.
You have to work for livelihood and you hate your job.
You are in to relationships and community which make you to confirm to what the relationship demands from you, what the community demands from you.
You have defined yourself as dependant. Dependant on a job, on a relationship on a community.
So long as you are chained, how can you do justice to yourself and also to the demands made on you by others? You will be sub-optimal.
You will go thru the motion, without heart. You will be a confirmist. You will be labelled obedient, good, hard working and all superlatives. But no one will care for your feelings, your joys. You bury them for the sake of undeserving others. You offer your life to them. You are no more you. You are their instruments. Your achievements will not have that spark, that spark of excellence which He wants to express thru you. You can not rediscover yourself until you free yourself.
Unshackle yourself.
Recognise your dream. Pursue it fearlessly. He is there for you. Just have faith in yourself and Him. You are not alone. You are loved. Don’t hanker after pseudo love, recognition, remuneration etc. please see thru these external actions and understand the hypocrisy.
Weed out non-genuine from genuine.
Until you you are fiercely independent, you cannot justify yourself to you, your dreams, your passions, your talents.
Toughen your mind. Hence, first step is to not mind. Release others , and release yourself. Do not let your ego come your way to express yourself, express your dreams. Be unabashed about it.
Just lower your ego to rise yourself above.
Break free. F*** the norms that oppress you.
Form your rules. Rules of universe.
Love yourself. Don’t harm or hate others due to dogmas. See Him in every manifestations. Enjoy your efforts. Embrace and contribute. Love as if no restriction exists. Dance as if no one is seeing, sing as if no one is hearing, attempt as if no one is needed to approve you.
Be free and be creative. And don’t lose heart when you are hated, not loved, not recognised, not appreciated. Don’t depend on others for that. Bless them when they do this to you. They are yet to learn. They are also travellers , but shackled to dogmas, to egos, to darkness.
You are not seeking them.
You are seeking Him. Accept all situations, and transform it to beauty, joy, art, feelings, love, comrediery, brotherhood, team work, and expression of humanity.
Peruse your dream as if no restriction exists for you.
Yes, please see and recognise the same free spirit in others. Don’t do to others what you don’t want for you. Understand their dreams. Help them pursue their dreams.
Bring heaven here.
Be an angel. Discard all other designations. Stay a free spirit, because you are.
These are your rules.
Love
Divinitive

So He Didn’t Call……

Sooooo true
I fully agree. We are emotional and want attention. We need to be liked , to be loved. Particularly from persons who matter to you…..could be a friend, boss, stranger, relative, own kith and kin…..anyone where we invest our mind space of liking, desiring, wanting etc
We momentarily forget that we are becoming vulnerable..
We need to toughen ourselves

BLACK, WHITE & READ ALL OVER

Why didnt he call

So you see him, he sees you.

Your eyes meet and stay affixed upon each other like a moth to a flame.

You give him the once over, he gives you the once over.

Then your eyes meet again.

He walks over and introduces himself. You reciprocate.

After about 10 minutes of casual conversation, he asks for your number and you give it to him.

He said he would call you.  You said okay.

This happens on a Thursday night.

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Winning Vs Losing

imageimageimageI have been intrigued by this emotion of winning and losing. I always enjoyed when my team won and at the same time felt pangs of sadness when I saw the emotions of losing fighter.
What is this? Why am I having trouble with this concept of losing and winning?
I am feeling more and more that this is something animalistic, the concept of beating some one.
So Long as both winner and loser are competing to push an envelope for the sake of discovering human potential, the divine manifestation in human being in form of skill, talent, excellence; it is pure joy.
Hence Sumo wrestlers bow to each other before they undertake wrestling. Loser is not lesser mortal. Hence they hug again after the competition is over.
I hate these reality shows in TV, particularly the final episode when the winner gets all the goodies and the loser is dejected on the same platform. The difference is so minuscule that the competitors are almost equal. Yet we get to view two opposing emotions at the same time. Typically my heart goes out to the loser. I have cried many times for both winner and loser. Tears for winner comes from the conquering of odds to reach the pinnacle and tears for loser comes from the sinking feeling that you are there and yet not there. What a paradoxical emotions.
What a gesture will it be if the winner celebrates the winning by sharing the goodies with the loser because the winner wins due to the loser loses, though the intention of the loser was to win as well.
Humanity must win at the end.
We are limited. The winning gives us the high. The feeling of pushing the envelope gives us the glimpse of unlimited. We rejoice. At the same time should we not remind ourselves that we are yet limited.
The lesson is the we are Unlimited soul , limited due to physical caging. Hence , we must pay our obedience to that Unlimited the moment we get the glimpse of Him in form of the talent we exhibit. We must embrace Humanity and let go. Let lose, the moment we win. Love the same competitor whom we beat.
Equanimity is the key.
Stay balanced both in win and loss.
Celebrate win but embrace the loser.
Constantly push the envelop and yet respect the limiting.
The goal is He, the winning and losing are journey.
Win or lose , stay composed

Life Journey is a great Teacher with a Purpose; Death is just an interregnum

Life is the greatest teacher

Life is the greatest teacher

We are all going to leave this physical existence some day. No one is immortal. This is the truth. Being born means certain to die. Then the question is why are we born?

It looks tome that we appear in this earth with a purpose. It is just not random occurrence.

I sense that, in most primordial way, only two forms exist.
One , energy and other Matter.
Are we Energy or Matter? Or Mix?

My belief is we are all energies getting manifested in material body for a purpose. Hence there is this concept life cycle. Due to the marriage of Material and Energy, the Energy cannot hook on to the material for ever. Because material has to wither. It has to take different forms. Hence Energy has to move from a material encasement to another till it has affinity to manifest in material form to experience materialism.

Hence the concept of rebirth and soul. The soul is the energy, immortal part and the material is the body the mortal part.

Hence it looks that the body is the vehicle and the soul is the passenger.

Then why does the soul has this affinity to manifest in material form? What is the purpose? Is it just seer enjoyment of being born or there is more to it?

Let us investigate that.

My belief is that the greater purpose of birth is the need for the soul to continuously grow from base direction towards divinity direction.

I am taking these words to make a point. These are two extreme opposite points of the scale. In one scale the physical existence is just to experience physicality and in another extreme it is to evolve so much that the desire for body does not remain. The purpose is achieved.

But, what is this purpose?

It is this gradual progression towards divinity.

The birth allows us to experience life. As animal birth it is highly limited and growth is slow. As human birth a great opportunity exists. It depends what is our tendency, base level of greed, lust, wild and animalistic or evolved level of empathy, servitude and love.

It is a hue. All of us are somewhere in between.

The trick is to be aware and start observing the self. Our bench mark is Higher Self. The day lower self is equal to higher Self, both gets merged.

We need to train our mind and feelings to evolve towards Higher Self. The arena is the life in this earth.

We need to, not only observe our thoughts and tendencies with respect to external triggers , but also actively create our future by changing it in continues mode. Life’s challenges are designed to steer us towards that. Some succeed, some may fail temporarily. No one can escape from growing. In some cases it is hastened and in some it is delayed due to fluctuations in the pace and direction of growth.

Life is a panorama for us to use every opportunity to grow spiritually, not necessarily in religious way but more particularly in Human way. All religions are great forums to learn spiritualism. But at the end it is your individual journey. The paths are different, but destination is same.

When we are born, we have pure Joy in us. The tendencies have not surfaced. As we grow, they take their shape in various forms. From fear, greed, possessiveness, power hungry, lustful to sensible , generous, benevolent and loving. One can be very high on traditional intellect and yet might be still under the grip of base tendencies.. This individual uses intellect in wrong direction to pander to tendencies rather than finding Joys. He soon falls in to vagaries of life and life puts him in a situation where in he or she has to question the usefulness of his or her so called earthly ambitions. The periods of high in terms of elation suddenly looks void. Rather those small moments of Joy in giving, caring, loving, contributing stand out to be more significant. At this inflection point the real journey begins.

Test your track, Sir/ Madam.

Question yourself
1. At what level of growth I am in? Test by looking at your ability to let go, empathise, feel, contribute and connect.
2. How much is your mind getting distracted and affected by external reference?
3. Are you being able to make a difference to others, family, organisation, society, nation and world at large?
4. How are you occupied? Only earning and indulging or seeking and experiencing spiritual joy.
5. Are you being able to get ready for final journey gracefully? Meaning every present moment of yours must enable you a good stepping stone to grow. Is it happening?

You are definitely the embodiment of Source, the Energy. There is no question about that. I will blog on this topic separately.

Our common destination is the same, the Source from where we all,originated. Please question to yourself , every moment, are you preparing yourself worthy of the destination?

if the answer is yes, I guarantee you that you are having a fabulous time; if the answer is no, then it is only a matter of time for you to get into that mode.

Enjoy your Life. Have a fabulous journey.

We are soul brothers or sisters from the same source, capable of same intensity of Joy.

Be aware, keep growing.

Love

Why not Employee First?

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imageWe have read so much about A+ catagory of people who make a great place for company to prosper, be it Jack weltch or other authors who write books like “Good to Great” etc.
My contention is that why do we judge human beings in the narrow parameters of corporate performance? All these judgments should be done before onboarding. Once onboarded, we must treat them as golden assets, which they truely are. The potential in them is immense, as in any human being. The entire corporate people process must center round in bringing best in him by
1) recognising him or her as unique
2) celebrating him and her achievements large or small
3) Constantly caring for his or her growth in terms of skill and knowledge thru various interventions which humanly respectful and yet challenging
4) Amply displaying the Attitude of Gratitude for the love qnd care the employee puts into the organisation.

Organisation must show a character of leadership in its people process first, then the leadership in all other processes, whether manufacturing, product development, customer service, sales, finacial management, innovation everything will automaticlly fructify.

It is so simple and yet we don’t realise this. Because we are short termist in nature, profiteering in aspirations, selfish in personal agenda.
We just fail to use corporate process for spiritual upliftment and spiritual jouney. Wealth creation is just like anynoth life process and cannot be separated from human spirit, nay divine spirit which are same.

When one human being becomes master to subject other human beings for self aggrandisement, ego satisfaction, and greed he descends into abyss as he forgets that the situation will reverse for his learning to begin.

Commerce should not blind us , not reduce us to robots, programmed corporate machines with intense intolerance to so called suboptimal performance. At the end we will all perish and leave behind a floundering organisation. It is the celebration of Humanity that will ensure continuity and immortality to the organisation.
It is the character of the organisation that will build brand, not mere products, services and processes. It is the People in the beginning and People in the end. Hence any organisation that puts employee first wins over its competitors.